last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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