she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
