end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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