My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
