I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Boobs are out for the taking
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
