It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize