Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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