At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
