Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
