We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
