Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
