I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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