there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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