i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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