to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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