i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
