pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
