so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
