ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
