I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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