I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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