the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
