Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
