did you get engaged???
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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