I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize