everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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