i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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