This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
smell my finger.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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