we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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