Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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