That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
