He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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