some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
