Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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