i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
