Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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