too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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