She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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