Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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