Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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