Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
