bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
