I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
