Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
