stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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