Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
