Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
