great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
