Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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