who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
