i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
