quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize