note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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