Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
