playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just pee around me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
