the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize