my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wear drunk well.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize