Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
