You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
only if we run a train.
done.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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