his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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