call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
