i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
