He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
